-Okay, so the blog’s back. I’m still feeling crappy, but I think now it’s due to allergies and a hangover from a few nights of drinking the party away. I’ll get back on my regular time-wasting schedule of finding things for you guys to look at and click on.

-Here are some Last Call pictures from THE FUTURE's awesome party:

Donny Miller and Russell Bongard. Donny is super tough grrrrr.

Russell and Rita are totally stoked on everything.



Chris Nieratko came through in a pinch and made us some last minute art. It was a hit and he made it in less than 20 minutes. Art in 20 minutes or it's free!



Chrissy pants and Russ. That sweater's hot, huh? Thanks WESC.



I can see your future, and I can tell you that Bongard is there.



Bongart.



Who is the most stressed out girl in the future? That's right. Me. Look how fucking sweaty I am. Gross.



That was my second outfit of the night. My first outfit was a corset and no one got a picture of it and that sucks because it was hot. I'll post more pictures next week and I'll dig up a photo of the corset I wore. Tits, dudes. Tits.

Anyways, why did you let Steve-O get this close to your unborn baby? I'm calling social services.



Seriously. No.



No, reallyy. Have you seen this tattoo?



The beard and the bagel.



Preggers with the keggers.



Who is this guy?



I donno, but I know these guys. Dameech and Kosick got off a plane from India and showed us some love.


Crom rocked out. I wasn't in the room so I didn't know they were half naked. Wooooo, beefcake.



The Plow had a set after The Crom.



We gave away some SWEET Nike golf attire. Along with ten pairs of shoes. You are so sorry for not coming. Check out that get-up!



And Altamont closed out the evening with radical.



-Glendale update: Dave is carrying an old pork chop around the house. The dog is a poop factory and we have fashioned a Warhol-esque wig for him out of Gary's shed fur. All of this is true.

-Germans are crazy when it comes to fetishes. CRAZY. http://www.studiogum.com/Seite/Start2.htm

-Lookwell! http://www.youtube.com/w/Lookwell!?v=l9ZX72K1Va4

-If I had more time I would probably waste it here. But I don’t so I won’t bother making cell phone noises and watching a weird little man dance to them. Ah well. http://www.pjotro.com/

-Look here, weirdo people from Korea, Mexico, Costa Rica, and wherever else who have been spamming the blog. I don’t like you. Stop posting your retarded, virus infected webpages. I have your IP addresses, assholes. You. Are. Banned.

-Google “cussing at children” and my blog comes up. Fucking sweet. http://www.google.com/search?q=%22Cussing+at+children%22&hl=en&lr=&start=10&sa=N

-Seriously, is there anyone on earth that does yoga and isn’t a fucking asshole? Yeah, yeah, I used to do it too, but then I realized that stretching is just stretching and there is no need for giving it silly names and bogus theories. Newsflash, touching your toes and doing headstands DOES NOT give you enlightenment of inner peace. Just so you know. Also, paying to go to a place where I could stretch in a room full of other retards was stupid. I’m still very bendy and generally happy without paying an extra forty bucks a month to have another appointment in my life.

-I spend the time I used to spend at yoga cooking good food or having good sex. Who wins? Right, I do.

-I met Mrs. Nicole Bongard last weekend, which makes my weekend better than yours in a number of ways. And it basically means that Russell wins at life for finding that woman and convincing her to think he was marriage/father material.

-Do you know who Nicole Bongard is? She's Russell Bongard's wife and baby momma. Here she is next to our super gay office soda machine.

Here we are eating lots of food at Geisha House in Hollywood. I'm stuffing my face with some Kobe fucking beef carpaccio and it was good. Nicole is eating crab legs the size of my arms. I ate her tempura battered eggplant because I'm a cow and for some reason pregnant ladies can't eat that or something.

I think that she's marvelling at the size of those crab legs in this picture. I am eyeballing her tempura because I am a food hog.

Dave, playing with his mouf.

Food and wine make me totally happy. Oh, and it's good to be with friends and stuff. CHEEEESE!

I pretend to be tough, sometimes. Check out those cool ropes behind us. Those things were totally awesome.

I have no idea what's going on in this picture. Is he putting sushi up his nose? Dave, that doesn't go there. Stop putting everything up your nose!

It apparently hurts to put suhi up one's nose.

-Cleaning up after THE FUTURE party sucked, but I’m betting that it was slightly less painful than having to clean up this sty. http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=268346

-South Central is losing it’s farm and that fucking sucks. That’s as much as I’m gonna rant about that because politics really hurt my head right now. http://www.southcentralfarmers.com/

-Dave actually wants to see The Davinci Code. What a fag. It’s a good thing we never go to movies, so he’ll probably never see it. Unless it’s on an airplane because seriously, that movie is gonna be so dumb that you’d have to hold me hostage to watch it.

-I rarely watch the movies on airplanes, even though I am held hostage because there’s nothing in the world that will actually get me to sit and watch Spiderman. So gay.

-Yesterday was a waste. Dave and I went to Clancy’s Crab Broiler to play some pool and drink beers. We did lots of that and then went to Whole Foods to buy some fancy swordfish. $21 a pound, bitches. We came home and then I passed out on the couch at 7pm. We didn’t eat our fancy swordfish last night, instead we BBQ’d it this afternoon and it was fantastic. My day beat your day.

-Dave is watching Fuel TV right now and it's annoying. Fuel TV is almost the worst channel in the history of television. It is just barely more watchable than the Home Shopping Network. Barely. You know how when you start dating someone and you're watching TV together for a while before totally boning on the couch and you let him have the remote because it makes dudes feel good to be in charge, but he totally watches crappy TV and you have to pretend to be interested and like what he's watching? Yeah, it's a good thing we're not dating anymore because Fuel is so boring and low quality that it is impossible to even pretend to be interested. I guess that's why we bone on the couch so much: because his taste in television is just garbage and making out is the only way out of having to sit through it. That, and wireless internet. I'm sending Dave "change the channel vibes." It'd be good if you would too because I haven't shaved my legs today and I'm all humped out.

-I've got some boners to deal with and a hockey game to watch so tah for now.