-WOW. I wanna play with this thing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBa9wdOANHw

-Beach. I wanna go to the beach. And so does my dog.

-Here are a bunch of Zidane animated .gifs. http://gifdump.com/search/Zidane/

-Huphtur, for the record, I don’t like Matrazzi. Most Italian soccer fans don’t care for him either. But what Zidane did was still uncool and a bad way to end a great career. P.S. Zidane is a raging psycho too and has been ejected from plenty of games for totally being violent. But I like talking soccer and am considering calling my awesome Pasadena pub to see if they carry bundesliga at all, or if my only option is premiere league. Let’s have pints! 

-Oh Anonymous, you’re bad at arguing. And you actually got all worked up over a blog, which is laughable. But I’m not gonna argue with you anymore until I know who you are, because not owning up for shit is lame and arguing on the internet is even lamer.  

-Last word on that subject: Coming onto my blog, talking badly about my friend to me and then yammering about me when I defend him is just bad debate style. Way to be passive aggressive with your misinformed judgments. But I look forward to your swift response to this.

-Let’s just all watch this and be happy, okay? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyLyqR4BJfY&search=Doughboy

-Oh, silly Austin IP address, Wow. Just wow.

-People in NYC, appreciate this, please: http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html And take pictures and send them to me.

-Here is a video of a chimp playing Ms. PacMan. The chick helping him play is so totally bossy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqvRjHaDX6M  

-Speaking of monkeys, I heard this story on the NPR about a monkey who is figuring out the basics of the English language. This monkey seriously rules so hard I can’t contain myself.

That’s Kanzi. Isn't he cute?! He’s 26 years old (me too!) and his favorite food is onions. He also likes ice cream, littering and playing chase.

-I want these: http://www.boingboing.net/2006/07/11/metal_stilletos_as_a.html

-And these: http://www.swordandstone.com/armour/metalheels.html Shoewhorse, take note.

-Russell isn’t a dad YET, but it’s gonna happen any day now and then it’s gonna be baby fashion show USA. Yussss!

-Oh, and call me up when little Riley can do this. http://www.neatorama.com/2006/07/07/kids-and-an-open-can-of-paint-what-could-go-wrong/ So awesome.

-Lorene, my bad. I forgot to mention that Chip got a second keg for our party. I forgot to mention a lot of things. Like how Gary scratched Jimmichanga on the head and made him bleed. And how my living room turned into 90’s movie palace and all my videos got watched. I kinda checked out early that night.

-This is pretty great: http://www.crooksandliars.com/posts/2006/07/08/adam-carolla-hangs-up-on-coulter/

-So, before I forget, here are pictures from the Nieratko wedding! YAY!

-Wait, before I do I need to correct an error. All the photos from Friday’s post were taken by Heather. Except for the one of Heather, that one was taken by Pat. Basically, those last pictures of the Nieratkos were an all-Roach photo shoot.

-Okay, on with the pictures. We’ll start with the ceremony. Well sort of. Before the ceremony we had to hang at the bar and watch England get it's crappy ass kicked by Portugal at the hotel bar.

Here's the church that Chris basically grew up in, was an altar boy in, and went to school until he was kicked out. And then he got to kiss his wife for the first time in. Awwwwwww.

Here's the couple praying to Mary for a good marriage. Well, Crissie prayed. Chrsi just counted the seconds 'till he could kiss Crissie.

Here's our pair comin' back up the aisle as man and wife. I so love these guys so much.

And here's uncle Lonnie comin' down the aisle. I love him slightly more than those two.

This picture was quite a production. Dave shot it, Heather art directed it, and Pat and I stayed quiet until we could get back to the car that had all of our beer and whiskey in it. Nice collaboration, no?

The Nieratkos on the red carpet. I'm not kidding when I say that I've never seen Crissie down a glass of champagne that fast ever. And she still looks bangin'.

Conspiring...

SO HAPPY!!

This is the Lincoln Continental that drove the pair around. Sweet ride. Photo: Heather Roach.

Haysup, sluts. Rawr.

Me and the only man I would ever consider leaving Dave for.

Then we went back to the hotel bar and drank beers until the free booze at the reception started up. Rowdiest wedding party EVAR.

-Congrats to our darling Daisy Mae Damage for being awarded “The Most Junk in the Trunk” award at the TXRD Rollerball. Yup, she has an award winning ass.

-She’s also an award winning tambourine player… as soon as they start handing out awards for that.

-Reception pictures tomorrow. The Melvins dinner got bumped to today, so I gotta go sit in traffic. My potato salad is gonna be the hit of the night. Mark my words.