-So New Year’s was nice. We ate, we drank, we monkey-ed… I kissed my dude at midnight and then drank into the wee hours. There was karaoke at my house too. Thanks Lorene, it sounded amazing. Do you smell that? What’s that smell? It smells a little ike sarcasm to me, but I’m not sure. Anyways, did you know that Dave karaokes? Yeah, me neither? When I woke up everyone was gone, so it was all sort of like a dream. Oh, and no one made black eyed peas or collared greens, so I guess this year’s gonna be fucked, but whatever. I’m waiting on everyone else’s updates from across the country.

-The Rose Bowl is a “big deal” this year. Much like it is every year. I’m not really into it this time around, because my whole life Michigan has been in the Rose Bowl. Whoop De Doo! It just doesn’t matter. Whatever. There were these asshole Michigan people at the wine bar that Dave and I were at in Pasadena the other day. Just a total dick family wearing their Michigan t-shirts trying to eat at a nice restaurant in the midst of the busiest restaurant time ever.  They got all huffy when they didn’t get seated immediately, despite the fact that there were no seats for them. I’m sure they’ll go home talking about how shitty LA is. “Oh my god, those snobs are all fake assholes there because they wouldn’t seat me at a crepe restaurant within five seconds of my arrival. Dicks!” They made me hate Michigan. Or Michigan fans, I guess. They just sucked. So fuck Michigan. I don’t care for UCLA or the Rose Bowl or football in general, but if someone tries to strike up a conversation about, I have an opinion now. My opinion is: Fuck you Michigan. Go to Denny’s.

-I watched the fuck out of USC and UT last year thought. I’ll even argue the crappy calls with you. USC should have won, assholes. If you disagree you are dumb. Dummy. Yeah, you big, fat dummy. How does it feel to be so dumb?  

-I tried calling Ray Gordon, like, a thousand times at midnight and his phone was busy. Who even has busy signals anymore? Ray, dude, what the hell? Caleb and I just wanted to sing Haircut 100 songs to you. He’s always the most popular boy at school. It’s a good thing he already signed my yearbook.

-Did you know that Stealth Bombers fly over the Rose Parade route every year? Yeah. They do. And they scare the living shit out of the attendees, pretty much, every year. Woo. Go America!

-Ugly Betty Marathon is on. Aside from football, I got nothin’ else to hangover to.

-There are also 90210 reruns on the Soap Channel. I don’t even know if I have that channel, but I’ll look for it if I feel like re-living 6^th grade.

-This was one of the best things that happened in the last year. http://withleather.com/post.phtml?pk=1827

-My New Year’s resolution: redeveloping my bulimia, getting gigantic breast implants, and flashing my gash all over Hollywood. (The “too late” jokes have already been made. You’re late.) Or maybe I’ll get a membership at Curves? What you got goin’?

-Man, James Brown was supposed to play in NY last night. Sad, huh? But how nice was that Michael Jackson speech at his memorial? I can listen to Thriller without feeling dirty again.

-I’m feelin’ like this year I’ll get some new tattoos.

-Dave should get some tattoos, no?